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INTERVIEW
WITH PATTY DANN
Patty Dann is
the author of the novel "Mermaids" which has been translated into
many languages and made into a film starring, Cher, Winona Ryder, Christina
Ricci and Bob Hoskins. Her novel, "Sweet and Crazy," is about a
widow with a young son. A respected writing teacher, Patty Dann is also
author of "The Baby Boat," a non-fiction book about her
experiences adopting her son. Patty Dann's most recent book is The
Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoire of Loss (and Learning to
Tell the Truth about It). Read
more about her new book, and find other resources for children facing
the death of a loved one.
CreativeParents
How did becoming a parent change
your life?
Patty
Dann
I became less neurotic. I had to be less selfish. As a writer I didn't
want people to call me before noon. I needed a certain level of quiet.
I thought I needed a more rigid lifestyle than being a parent allows you
to have. Also, because my son was so outgoing I had to become more sociable.
CreativeParents
How did your perspective on writing change?
Patty
Dann
I finally could write with an adult voice. My characters had been adolescent
before that, even when I was an adult.
Since I've become
a mother I've included a lot about my son. I wrote about him in "The Baby
Boat." When my husband was dying I wrote about my husband losing language
and my son acquiring it. I've used Jake's dialogue in my writing. In my
new novel about a widow and young boy I steal from my son and use his
dialogue.
CreativeParents
How did you come to write "The Baby Boat," in which you write about adopting
your son from Lithuania?
Patty
Dann
It had never occurred to me to write about real life, but I felt compelled
to write what was happening and I couldn't translate it to fiction.
CreativeParents
How much of "The Baby Boat" did you write in journal style?
Patty
Dann
As a new mother, that was the form. I could write a book in parts while
my son was napping. Now I have more time to write in a different style
while he's in school. I also have more time to daydream.
CreativeParents
Your new book, about a widow with a child, is fiction. Why is that?
Patty
Dann
When I was writing "Sweet and Crazy," several editors said "Why don't
you write about your experience with your husband's death?" I found
it was too close and I had to fictionalize it. I set the book in a small
town in Ohio and even then it was hard to write. When I started writing
this as non-fiction it was too painful. When it was fiction I could add
more humor, more irony.
I think at different
points in your life you read non-fiction or poetry, and it's the same
with writing.
CreativeParents
How has being a widow affected being a mother?
Patty
Dann
As a widow who is older, with a young child I have a different perspective.
We adopted Jake at seven months and I became a widow when he was five.
I find I'm a widow as much as a mom. It is an identity that's hard to
shake. It's different from being a single parent. Sometimes single moms
complain, but this is different.
CreativeParents
When you lost your husband, did you get support from others?
Patty
Dann
People are attentive to widowers longer. After a year nobody brought food.
CreativeParents
How do you find the lifestyle of being a mother, a writer and teacher?
Patty
Dann
It works as long as you're healthy and there's no school vacation. It's
a luxury that I can write and pick my son up at school.
CreativeParents
What do you like about teaching writing?
Patty
Dann
I don't know if I actually teach writing. I feel more like a large ear.
My students' stories inspire me. I particularly enjoy hearing stories
read outloud. It's like going to a concert each class. It also takes me
out of my own small world.
CreativeParents
How do you deal with the solitude of writing?
Patty
Dann
I've never felt the challenges of solitude. I have a harder time being
with people.I love nothing more than sitting at my desk on a rainy day.
CreativeParents
When do you think of ideas?
Patty
Dann
When I'm swimming. Jake asks "Do you have a real job, besides writing
and teaching? Like being a veterinarian?"
CreativeParents
How comfortable do you feel revealing your life in your writing? How would
you feel about your son reading what you wrote?
Patty
Dann
My son is learning to read. He wanted me to read to him about meeting
him in the orphanage. In my new book there's sex and I'm not censoring
myself. By I do wonder what it's like having your child read things. Someday
he'll read "The Baby Boat." I know one writer whose child doesn't want
to read what she's written. Anyway, right now Jake likes fact books about
airplanes.
CreativeParents
Are there any activities you share with your son that reflect your being
a writer?
Patty
Dann
Stories have always comforted me. We try to remember everyone we meet.
We tell each other stories about the day. It's okay to be sad when the
vacation is ending, look at what we've done. It's like looking at a photo
album. One technique is teaching yourself to remember. If he has a hard
time getting to sleep, helping him think of a happy time, evoking a memory.
CreativeParents
How else do you help your son deal with feelings, especially the loss
of his father?
Patty
Dann
I want to give him tools to take care of himself emotionally. If he's
scared to go into the kitchen in the dark I ask him to think of what he
can do. He can sing, tell himself a story. From an early age, we talked
about having opposite emotions at once. Yes, you can miss Daddy, but you
can still go sledding. Complicated feelings.
CreativeParents
How did you get started as a writer?
Patty
Dann
As a kid I always imagined what it would be like to be in someone else's
shoes. Maybe this was the beginning of being a fiction writer.
CreativeParents
How did your own parents encourage you to write? How did they feel about
your becoming a writer?
Patty
Dann
My father started as a comedy writer. My mother still writes newspaper
articles. They met at NBC Radio, so writing was always encouraged. My
brother makes TV documentaries and my sister is a therapist, so I think
story-telling and listening to stories was what we were brought up to
do.
CreativeParents
How did Mermaids evolve? Is any of the story drawn from real life?
Patty
Dann
Growing up I lived next to a convent in Chappaqua. Unlike in the book,
there was no caretaker and my parents were married. My mother was a reporter
for the local paper, not at all like Mrs. Flax. I loved to swim and part
of me was interested in Catholicism. Those elements found their way into
Mermaids. Now that I'm a single mother I relate to Mrs. Flax more.
CreativeParents
How did it feel having your book made into a film?
Patty
Dann
I was excited about the book becoming a movie. But it's odd to see something
that you happened to put into the book, the hors d'oeuvres or a Buick,
suddenly appear on the set.
CreativeParents
Any other thoughts you'd like to share?
Patty
Dann
I heard an older woman talk about how life is difficult, but it's your
attitude that makes a difference. When you're young nobody tells you life
is difficult. We tend to protect children. When Jake says he wishes Eric
were here I say "What would you do with him if he were?" You can't quell
longing by pretending it doesn't exist.
contact
us.
Copyright©
2003, 2007 Dr. Istar Schwager
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